And you give yourself away….

Today, as I sat silent with God, I remembered all the times I’ve given my heart away to someone or something.  It is so easy to do, especially for women, emotional creatures that we are.  I thought about times I loved without limits only for that love to be used and tossed aside, or maybe never even recognized in the first place.  I thought about all the times I’ve been used.  Used by so called friends who were really only “friends” with me for what they could get out of it.  Used by men for my body.  Dare I say, even used by the Church for my talents?  I can think of so many people and things I gave my heart to in these different scenarios.  Then the question came to mind.  Why did I allow these people to use me?  Why did I give my heart away so easily?  The answer is simple…life.  I was trying to get life from these people by giving them my heart.  Instead of getting life from my Creator, (the only One who can give true life) I squandered my heart trying to get it anywhere I could.  I ransomed what God put in me for what only He could give me but not to HE who could give it.  


Of  course I realize that now.  But before I had this revelation all I had was the hurt that came from my heart being broken.  I stood at a point in my life where I had to make a decision not to let anyone have my heart. I locked it away and guarded it with my bitterness and cynicism.  Nobody was allowed in…not even God.  Its easy to go through life that way, even as a Christian, and not even realize it.  But its like being a zombie.  You just go through the motions of the “Christian” life but have no real life that sustains you…God given life.  


Thank God, literally, that He got a hold of my heart again.  When I slowly started realizing that I had given myself away trying to get life that only God could give, I started to unlock the chains around my heart.  Slowly I began to give my heart back to God. When I did that, healing started happening.  God began (and continues to this day) to restore to me all that I had wasted.  Not only is he healing my heart but he is giving me HIS heart.  Now I am able to give my heart away in love and service to others because its not my  heart I am giving away, its God’s.  I think that is what it means to have our identity in Christ.  Its not us that does the work of love, it is Christ through us.  He loves and moves through us.  We are his hands and feet.  And if we allow him, he gives us his heart to love others the way he does.  Now when I give my heart away a seed is planted.  Nothing is wasted.  I am redeemed, God is glorified and I get to be part of his Kingdom here on earth.  What a beautiful way to live.  That is true life.  Who has your heart?  







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About amandayarde

Wife, mother, worship leader, life long learner View all posts by amandayarde

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